Many couples begin the divorce process hoping for an amicable resolution, where agreements are reached respectfully and out of court. This ideal scenario, known as an uncontested divorce, is certainly possible. However, the path to divorce is often paved with unforeseen challenges, and what starts as seemingly amicable can quickly spiral into a full-blown contested divorce.

A contested divorce means that you and your spouse cannot agree on one or more significant issues, necessitating court intervention to make the final decisions. Understanding the common pitfalls that lead to a contested case can help you manage expectations and better prepare for the realities of the process.

The Top Reasons a Divorce Becomes Contested

Even with the best intentions, certain issues are notorious for turning an amicable separation into an adversarial battle.

1. Child Custody and Parenting Disputes 💔

This is arguably the most emotionally charged area of any divorce. When parents disagree on who the children will live with (physical custody), how decisions will be made about their upbringing (legal custody), or the specifics of a visitation schedule, the divorce almost always becomes contested. Common points of contention include:

• Primary Residency: Both parents want the children to live with them most of the time.
• Decision-Making Authority: Disagreements over education, healthcare, or religious upbringing.
• Holiday and Vacation Schedules: Inability to compromise on special dates.
• Relocation: One parent wants to move a significant distance with the children, which the other parent opposes. The court’s primary focus here will always be the “best interest of the child,” but proving what that is can lead to extensive legal battles.

2. Spousal Support (Alimony) Disagreements 💰

Spousal support, or alimony, is often a major sticking point, particularly in longer-term marriages or where there’s a significant income disparity. Disputes typically arise over:

• Amount: How much should be paid?
• Duration: How long should payments continue? Is it permanent, rehabilitative, or durational?
• Need vs. Ability to Pay: One spouse may feel they need more, while the other believes they cannot afford to pay, or that the requesting spouse should become self-sufficient more quickly.

The subjective nature of these factors often requires a judge to weigh the evidence and make a final determination.

3. Division of Complex Assets and Debts 🏠📈

While dividing a simple checking account might be easy, complex financial portfolios and properties frequently lead to disputes:

• Hidden Assets or Debts: One spouse suspects the other is concealing income, assets (like cryptocurrency or offshore accounts), or intentionally inflating debts. This necessitates forensic accounting investigations.
• Business Valuation: For couples who own a business together, determining its fair market value and how to divide it can be incredibly contentious and often requires expert appraisers.
• Retirement Accounts: Dividing pensions, 401(k)s, and IRAs can be complicated, especially if they pre-date the marriage or involve complex calculations and Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDROs).
• Family Home: Deciding whether to sell the marital home, have one spouse buy out the other, or allow one spouse to remain in it for a period (especially if children are involved) can lead to heated arguments.

4. Refusal of Financial Disclosure 🚫📄

Transparency is paramount in divorce. If one spouse refuses to provide full and honest financial disclosure, the other spouse has no way to verify assets, debts, or income. This immediately pushes a divorce into contested territory, as the court must intervene to compel disclosure through legal means like subpoenas and discovery requests. A lack of trust fueled by financial secrecy is a fast track to litigation.

5. High Conflict and Inability to Communicate 🗣️🔥

Sometimes, the issues themselves aren’t necessarily complex, but the emotional animosity between spouses is so high that any productive communication is impossible. When couples cannot sit in the same room, mediate effectively, or even discuss basic logistics without arguments, a judge’s intervention becomes inevitable. This can be exacerbated by allegations of infidelity, abuse, or other forms of marital misconduct.

Managing Expectations and Seeking Guidance

Understanding these common triggers for contested divorces is crucial. It allows you to:

• Prepare: Recognize where potential disagreements might arise in your own situation.
• Strategize: Work with your attorney to address these areas proactively.
• Evaluate: Decide if an amicable, uncontested approach is truly feasible or if you need to prepare for litigation.

Even if you start with the best intentions, divorce often involves deeply personal and financial issues that are difficult to compromise on. When faced with these challenges, having knowledgeable legal counsel is not just helpful—it’s essential.

Navigating the complexities of a contested divorce requires experienced legal guidance. If your divorce has moved from amicable discussions to unresolved disputes, contact us today so that we can connect you with licensed attorneys who can provide the strategic advocacy needed to protect your rights and achieve the best possible outcome for your future.

Sources:

• American Bar Association (ABA) Section of Family Law resources: General information on divorce processes and common disputes.
• Legal Information Institute (LII) at Cornell Law School: Provides definitions and context for legal terms like “child custody” and “spousal support.”
• Nolo.com & FindLaw.com: Practical guides on divorce, including sections on what makes a divorce contested and common conflict areas.
• State-specific family court websites (e.g., California Courts, New York State Unified Court System): Offer insight into common factors considered in contested cases, particularly regarding child custody and asset division.
• Forensic accounting and divorce financial planning professional organizations: Provide context on the challenges of valuing complex assets like businesses and cryptocurrency in divorce.